


"Why I Should Not Be Forced to Play Esther," by Paris Geller, aged 11

by dafna



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-03-19
Updated: 2008-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-23 16:12:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/624070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dafna/pseuds/dafna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While I know you have a shortage of candidates who can be trusted to not moon the rabbi, this institution's failure to control my classmates is not my fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Why I Should Not Be Forced to Play Esther," by Paris Geller, aged 11

**Author's Note:**

> Written for amathela for the Purim Gifts 2008 challenge.

Dear Ms. Schwartz,

Thank you for asking me to take on a leading role in this year's Temple Beth Israel production of "Shushan's Rainbow: The Real Meaning of Purim." While I know you have a shortage of candidates who can be trusted to not moon the rabbi, this institution's failure to control my classmates is not my fault. Punishing me for having good hygiene and grammar by making me play the part of that wimpy Disney princess Esther is not only unfair, but would require me to abandon a lifetime of feminist principles.

Since the last time we spoke you did not appear to know what I meant, I have decided the easiest way to make myself understood on this matter is in this letter form. So, to be specific, at no time, no way, even in costume, do I approve of or wish to appear to support the following:

1) Arranged marriages (to be nice about it)  
2) Older male relatives pimping out young women for profit (because let's call it what it is)  
3) Men who abandon their first wives  
4) Elaborate formal dinners of any kind  
5) Unnecessary fasting  
6) Revenge killing (you have read the last chapter, right?)

As I said before, I think Jennifer Cooper, while an unsatisfactory three-legged race partner, would be a perfectly adequate Esther. I have also since found out that Rebecca Segal has started wearing lipstick to school, so clearly her self esteem is low enough as well.

Yours sincerely,  
Paris Geller

P.S. I am nothing if not a team player, so I will, of course, play Vashti, who, let's face it, is the real hero of the story. Not only does she refuse to dance naked in front of her husband and his friends, but she manages to make this decision on her own, without any help from an annoying male father figure.


End file.
